The Wicker Man
Nicolas Cage Edward Malus
Ellen Burstyn ... Sister SummersIsle
Kate Beahan ... Sister Willow Woodward
Frances Conroy ... Dr. T.H. Moss
By Dr. Chills
Laced with layers upon layers of conspiracy, pagan ritual, Celtic rites, Masonic secrecy and symbolism, The Wicker Man is a high School English Teachers Dream. Great if you’re a high school English teacher. Otherwise, this one misses the scary mark by a mile and barely scratches the surface of being a good mystery.
Granted, I loved the fact that Nicky (Nicholas Cage) spends almost the entire film looking for a little girl named Rowan who happens to be wearing the red color of the Rowan blossom from the Rowan tree, which happens to produce the wood used when making magic wands, magicians staves and other Witchly devices. And who couldn’t appreciate the references inThe Wicker Man to the day after tomorrow being May 2nd, making the day of today, April 30th, the day that Evil Reigns on earth, a.k.a the Beltane, a.k.a Walpurgis Night – Guess he picked the wrong day to go visiting islands.
Director Neil LaBute was clever in his use of leit wiccan motif and in his presentation of both the most beautiful and most horrendous looking women in the industry, but his sharp eye for casting did not make up for the weakly linked storyline and the unbelievably stupid actions of our star.
I mean – who goes on “official police business” with only one gun and no backup? And wasn’t it the least bit suspicious that none of the men on the island spoke at all? Come on Nicky! It’s post 9-11, who responds to a letter without proper postage anyway? The Wicker Man was a loose knit patchwork of really cool symbolic references to old and poly-cultural sacrificial rites, and that’s about it.
Were it not for the physical beauty of Nicholas Cage and Ellen Burstyn, I doubt anyone would have gone to see this film, save Mrs. Feingold, my high school English teacher.
Still, I’ve always been a sucker for a good looking man and Nicholas Cage as Edward Mauls was such a stand up gentleman – picking up dropped dolls and all, going to help out an old lover who left him cold and moved to a weird and far-away island with no telephones or transportation – If anyone had to be burned alive in The Wicker Man, I’d say, it couldn’t of happened to a nicer guy.