October 31, 2008
Toby Wilkins, Kai Barry and Ian Shorr
Shea Whigham as Dennis Farell
Paulo Costanzo as Seth Belzer
Jill Wagner as Polly Watt
By Horror Queen
Happy Anniversary to Seth and Polly, a young couple whose plans to go camping in the woods are cut short when they’re kidnapped by Dennis and Lacey, two rednecks on the lam. Just as the foursome heads down the road…WHAM… the car hits and clearly kills what appears to be a small black mangy animal. When the car comes to a screeching halt, Lacey shoots a concerned look at Dennis “Do you think Ginger’s okay? She’s just a puppy.”
Ginger, as it turns out is a mass of mangled hair, blood and smashed bones that when touched grows splinters and attacks. And Ginger’s not the only one. It seems anyone coming into contact with these splinter-monsters gets infected with some sort of mold or parasite, and is doomed to what will eventually make them look like they had way too long a visit at the acupuncturist.
Now there’s something creepy about gas stations in the middle of nowhere on a road trip anyway. Dusty Twinkie packages. Captain & Tennille cassette tapes. But the one our friends get holed up in is also home to a human splinter-monster, and it’s hungry! Plus this creature is particularly horrifying – not only because of its hunger and spininess but because of the way its limbs twist and crack when it moves, and how it appears out of nowhere to take its victims. SURPRISE… a splinter-monster.
The monster also appears to be a zombie, impervious to gunshots, punches or insults of any kind. So our friends’ true colors are tested as they choose whether or not to fight each other or fight the creature (duh). Everyone turns out to be braver than they thought – from the guy who agrees to cut off his own arm to prevent infection to the one that leaves the gas station to save his friends, risking meeting the monster face to face (Splinter is at the same time dorky and heart-warming.)
Does everyone survive? Does splinterness as we know it come to an end? Let’s just say I wouldn’t be in any hurry to toss out those tweezers and bottle of Bactine in your medicine cabinet.