By Horror Queen
As sororities go on the Rosman University campus, Theta Pi is known for having the best parties and the prettiest girls. Pretty maybe, but no one will accuse these girls of being nice. Case in point – the prank they play on the boyfriend of sorority sister Megan that results in her unintentional death, followed by a cover-up and subsequent blaming of one another for… well… pretty much everything. Think Mean Girlsmeets Scream.
And Head Mean Girl Jessica takes the cake. At the time of Megan’s death as everyone’s panicking about what to do (i.e. call the police, confess), Jessica systematically takes charge of the crime scene just as she’s taken charge of the sorority and instructs everyone to get rid of the body and never bring up the incident again. This would all be well and good – after all who’s going to spend time digging around in an abandoned mine shaft when there are drunk, easy sorority girls just a few feet away – if it weren’t for the fact that dead Megan (or someone with her phone) begins texting the sisters with photos of the murder weapon and videos of the murder. Hint: nevervideotape college pranks.
Apparently Theta Pi’s can run but they can’t hide and one by one, each sister is attacked by a killer donning a hooded graduation gown. Is it Megan? Is it Father Death? It’s interesting to note that each girl is killed orally with some creative weapon… hmmm. But sexual overtones aside, most of these girls deserve it – as the killer eventually points out. And it’s not just the girls being picked off. Boys who subscribe to the mantra ‘we’ll try any Pi’ are beginning to regret they did.
In general Sorority Row is well-cast and performances are decent. Carrie Fisher is the perfect sorority housemother from hell, wielding a shotgun and provoking the killer to ‘come to mama’. But truth-be-told this is just another slasher remake, with a Greek system twist. Slasher fans will appreciate it, while those looking for disturbing nightmares or lasting effects of any kind may be disappointed. The film does sort of poke fun at itself and doesn’t pretend to be something its not, which is one of the reasons I enjoyed it.
The question is – is Megan’s death finally avenged and if so, will anyone pledge Theta-Pi at Rosman again? Let’s just say the motto ‘Trust, respect, honor, secrecy and solidarity’ surely belongs to a different house on Sorority Row.