January 11, 2008
Every bikini-clad lovely is practicing her Go-Go dancing moves to music filled with guitar licks ala Jan and Dean; The Go-Go-a-Thon is coming! But beware… there is a huge monster (that looks suspiciously like some guy in a paper Mache outfit designed to look like a catfish) who has lust in his eyes and disembowelment on the agenda.
Monster from Bikini Beach has several simultaneous and interrelated plots. The first is the Go-Go-a-Thon that has the whole town buzzing, be-bopping and scattin’ around in as little clothing as possible. This is one big beach party – don’t worry that the location is land-locked and the “beach” is a bunch of sand dumped along the bank of the local river – Surf City is back and the Surfer Girls are hooting, hollering and donning their hula hoops in preparation for the race to the crown: Go-Go Dancing Queen.
Meanwhile a salty Detective gone bad is on the hunt for a lost drug cache that could set him up to live out his golden years in the company of his ditzy but beautiful girl Boom Boom in some far away and tropical locale. Dodging the mob the would-be criminal scours the city for clues to the whereabouts of the missing haul and his ticket to the good life.
Everybody’s plans, however, are threatened by the emergence of the beast, a primordial creature from the depths of the… river… that is vicious, ugly, murderous… and apparently horny. The beast may look like a big green catfish but he has excellent taste in the ladies… and the Go-Go-a-Thon is going on that has more boobs than a dairy farm. Nothing but trouble can come when these three situations collide in a bloody cornucopia that could only happen on Bikini Beach.
Normally I do not write reviews that sound as much like a promo for a film as this, but I can’t help it. Monster from Bikini Beach is just plain awesome! Goofy, corny and dumb? Sure. Ridiculous monster? Certainly. Absurd that an entire town, with no real beach mind you, could be caught in the carefree world of Gidget and Annette with decidedly Film Noir crime shenanigans going on all around. Well, ya. But none of that matters. This one is fun, it’s different, it’s blatantly exploitative, it has a surprising redneck women named Fannie Joe who can spout off the genetic history of long-extinct species off the top of her head… and it has got more gore than you can shake a stick at. Guts are left hanging, women are ripped in half, men have their limbs removed… heck, it even has a guy that throws his body on a grenade to save the platoon. What else could you ever want?
Monster from Bikini Beach is a micro-budget film from Trash Film Orgy that really should not be missed. TFO is reportedly “An annual sleaze fest bringing you the trashiest, goriest and most bizarre movies ever made” and if this film is any indication of what’s in store then I can’t help but wonder… “Where have they been all my life?”