Martin Kitrosser, Carol Watson, Victor Miller, Ron Kruz
Dana Kimmell as Chris Higgins
Paula Kratka as Rick
Tracie Savage as Debbie
Jeffrey Rogers as Andy
Catherine Parks as Vera Sanchez
Okay, people are very hard on Friday the 13th Part 3 and it’s not without justification. I’ll be the first to admit that the Friday movies became progressively sillier as they went on. I mean, Jason taking a sabbatical to New York was one thing, but Jason in space? Even I had to tune out for that one.
Another thing that counts against this movie is that it was the “3D special”, so when you’re watching it back years later you keep wondering why certain scenes involve the characters randomly thrusting things at the screen. It also gave rise to the start titles!
The other problem I have with this film is the stupid “hippy” couple. I mean, firstly we know they’re “hippies” because they smoke pot, wear tie-dyed t-shirts and the dude sports a shaggy beard and a headband. “Whoah man, just let me get my head together here”. But that’s not what annoys me. What annoys me is that they’re an insult to weed-heads everywhere – gobbling their stash at the first sound of a police siren. Should be ashamed of themselves. Still, it gave the guys who wrote “Super Troopers” something to parody in the first scene of that film, so someone was happy at least.
This is the episode of Friday where it really settled into the formula. The characters are completely stock, but I didn’t really mind that – I knew it meant I’d enjoy watching them die. We’ve got Chris (Dana Kimmell) – the innocent girl survivor character, and some Jason-fodder characters – the hippie/stoner couple, a horny couple and a loser. They’re off for a weekend of debauchery at Crystal Lake, but their timing couldn’t be worse (for them – it’s great for us) because the previous night, Friday the 13th Part 2 happened, and Jason is on the loose!
Despite an ominous warning from Crazy Ralph’s demented hick cousin as they approach the holiday spot, and seeing a murdered couple being loaded into an ambulance outside the local convenience store, the kids push on. No demented psycho is going to stop them from having fun. Well, that’s what they think.
But no sooner have the kids sparked the fire and commenced drunken shagging, Jason begins the festivities.
The deaths are inventive. Personally my favourite is the black biker guy. Jason decks him in the barn then proceeds to beat him repeatedly with what looks like a heavy sap of some kind. It’s a great three-blow kill – the sound effects getting progressively sloppier – very nice. The reason it’s my favourite is two-fold – one, I appreciate a good bludgeoning. And two, the guy doesn’t actually die. He returns for a second helping of Jason at the end. What Jason began with the sap, he finishes with a machete. Great stuff! These bikers are used mainly as a means to disable the hapless teens’ van by siphoning the fuel, and it’s great to see Jason dispose of them quickly and brutally.
My other favourite kill is the speargun. Here, the 3D aspect doesn’t hamper the kill (see the silly fireplace poker-thrust-at-camera bit? Woeful), it actually adds to the effect as a spear sails out of the gun, right at the camera, and into a chick’s left eye. What I like most about this is how afterwards, Jason just drops the gun and strolls away. It’s supposed to show that he’s a lumbering, heartless, undead beast. But to me it looks like Jason’s just relaxed and not in any particular hurry. It’s all in a day’s work and he’s moving on to the next task. Of course I can’t go without mentioning that in a kill before this (the practical joke-playing loser, Shelly, played by Larry Zerner), Jason gets his trademark hockey mask.
And I can’t help but like the guy-cut-in-half kill. I like that Jason stashes him in the roof rafters. I also like that he gets it right after he’s finished helping his girlfriend achieve “the best one yet”. While there’s always something inherently sexy in hearing a girl say that, after he claimed it was “all him”, I wanted him dead. Smug little sh*t. Well, thankfully, he’s dispatched in a most satisfying manner, and Jason then spears the girl while she’s reading Fangoria. Nice touch.
Gradually Jason whittles away the teens til it’s just him and Chris left – and we have another final flight from Jason ending in “slo-mo heroine kills Jason” bit – it’s okay – but it’s nothing on Amy Steel’s Ginny from Part 2. That girl had some talent for looking scared, let me tell you. But I do like that after her encounter, Chris is reduced to a hysterical, babbling mess. Her bug-eyed nervous laughter as she’s bundled into a police car and carted off (presumably to a looney bin) at the end is poor acting but I dig the heartless ending the writer gave her character. I think I’d rather take an icepick to the brain than spend the next 20 years strapped to a bed doped up on thorazine – but maybe that’s just me. The hokey “let’s have a few fake scares and then rip-off Part 1’s ending” ending is a bit stupid and smacks a little of “we ran out of ideas for how to finish this movie”.
But gripes aside, I still enjoyed Jason’s second rampage (his mum took care of the first). Like I always say there’s no better way to spend an idle Tuesday night than watching Jason hack through teenagers like Dad slicin’ up a Sunday roast! Why do people look at me funny when I say that out loud? I’m more scared of people who say they deliberately watched “Hostel” more than once!