September 9, 2011
Tracy Morse, Fred Andrews
D’Arcy Allen as: Villager
Daniel Bernhardt as: Uncredited
Mehcad Brooks as: Niles
Dillon Casey as: Oscar
Amanda Fuller as: Beth
A few hundred years ago in a swamp, legend has it a young Cajun named Grimley was just about to marry his sister in order to continue the family lineage (and because she’s hot) when she was suddenly dragged under water by an alligator. As many a love struck incestuous teen would do, Grimley followed the reptile back to its lair and proceeded to kill it and eat the remains of its human victims, thus morphing into a ‘creature’. Because no one could think of a more descriptive film title?
This ‘creature’ who continues to lurk in the same swamp today, now nicknamed ‘Lockjaw’ by the locals, looks similar to one we might see in a rerun of the old ‘60s Star Trek TV series – a large man in a wet suit with rubber bulges all over it. This is enough however to keep the banjo-strumming (well, they should have banjos) locals in fear, always on the lookout for young females to offer up as mating partners, or at least meals, to their God (oh yeah and they refer to the inbred reptile maniac as ‘God’).
Speaking of younger females, into the town come three of them with a few ex-military male friends lost on their way to the Big Easy. Stopping at an old shack to ask for directions, the group is greeted by Chopper (Sid Haig, The Devil’s Rejects, House of 1000 Corpses), who convinces them to instead head for the bayou in search of the legendary Lockjaw. I think if I ran into Sid Haig on the street I would immediately scream and run. With a history of incest and carnage in all his films, he’s far more menacing than anything else in this movie and may actually have been its saving grace if that were possible.
Probably because they realized this film’s predator was about as interesting as a wad of gum, filmmakers turn to distractions like lesbianism, masturbation, pot-smoking, even throwing in a few spiders which like Sid are also more menacing than the actual monster.
With the group now smack dab in the middle of Lockjaw-land, mayhem of course ensues with each character meeting death in the order of their obnoxiousness and lack of acting ability, until only the two best looking and most likeable remain to fight the thing alone. There’s a bit of a surprise ending in Creature which many will miss, as sitting through all 93 minutes of this film a lot to ask.