American Horror Story: Hotel - Ep. 6
Ramona and Iris launch an attack on The Countess's children while John continues his downward spiral. Liz Taylor finds love in a hopeless place.
November 11, 2015
John J. Gray
Lady Gaga as The Countess
Kathy Bates as Iris
Sarah Paulson as Sally
Evan Peters as James Patrick March
Wes Bently as John Lowe
Matt Bomer as Donovan
Chloe Sevigny as Alex Lowe
Denis O'Hare as Liz Taylor
Cheyenne Jackson as Will Drake
Angela Bassett as Ramona Royale
Special Guest Stars:
Finn Wittrock as Tristan Duffy
Mare Winningham as Hazel Evers
Matt Ross as Dr. Charles Montgomery
Darren Criss as Justin
Liz, you in danger, girl. Just a week after learning her heartbreaking backstory, we discover that Liz Taylor is in love for the first time in her life. The only problem is she’s in love with Tristan, and The Countess (as proved in Ramona’s backstory) isn’t very fond of sharing.
There was lots and lots of sex this week. Pretty much everyone at the Hotel Cortez is banging right now (except for Kathy Bates but we will get to that in a minute). The Countess is continuing her mission to get Will Drake to marry her by trying to sleep with him. Sadly, Will Drake is as gay as the day is long so he can’t really perform. When the Countess brings in Tristan, he reminds her he isn’t gay and refuses, but The Countess gives him her death stare that says, ‘Fluff him or I kill you.’ Little do we know how serious she is…
Another idiot comes to the Hotel Cortez thinking Will Drake totally revamped the entire place and it’s going to be crawling with models. He’s half right. The Swedish Twins (who aren’t really twins but let’s pretend for the sake of we don’t actually care what their names are because they’re dead) seduce him, then stab him to death with an ice pick. (PRO TIP: Don’t assume a hotel is completely remodeled two months after someone buys it. Wait till it pops up in the entertainment section of LA Times or something). The poor girls are just trying to find their purpose in the hotel. Alex, popping her head in on an unrelated manner, inspires them to go try tormenting her husband, John.
Meanwhile, poor, poor John is doing his best Dylan McDermott impersonation by spiraling out of control. He’s basicaolly a gimp suit away from standing naked over a lit stove or burying a girlfriend in the back alley. He’s been suspended from the Ten Commandments Killer case, just as another body has popped up: ‘Thou shalt not take the Lord’s name in vain.’ That’s when the Swedes find him and have a bloody three-way. This blood fueled sexcapade does nothing for John’s mental wellbeing and he flees the hotel.
Sex isn’t the only thing going on this week, though. Ramona and Donovan have returned while The Countess is in Paris with Will Drake (maybe he can only get it up when he looks at the Eiffel Tower?). In a shocking fan-service flashback we learn that in 1926 The Countess visited the Murder House from season one to get an abortion from Dr. Charles Montgomery. She’s three weeks pregnant, but her baby is almost fully grown, and bloodthirsty. The baby boy, Bartholomew, after eating a nurse alive, is placed in a nursery at the Hotel Cortez, Room 33.
Auntie Ramona shows up to kill him, leaving Iris to take care of the other blonde vampire children. Sadly, Ramona has clearly never gone vampire hunting because she just leaves the door open for baby Bartholomew to escape. Their murderous plans are put on hold until the baby can be tracked down by Alex. Unfortunately, John has accidentally taken the baby home while fleeing the Cortez. John tries to shoot the baby, terrifying his own daughter in the process. Alex and John have actually raised a smart little girl, she recognizes both of her parents are completely insane and is whisked away to safety. Alex returns the terrifying looking baby to the Hotel Cortez.
Now sadly, things don’t end happily ever after for Liz Taylor and Tristan. Nor will they ever, it seems. Liz decided to open her mouth, even after Ramona told her not to. When The Countess returns from Paris, she, Liz, and Tristan all have a sit down. Her emotions have a taste, and betrayal tastes like charred meat. She tells Liz she may have Tristan, then slits his throat and lets him bleed to death.
We all knew The Countess would never let them be together, especially not after we saw her reaction to Ramona falling in love with another man; and Liz was around for that! Also, does The Countess not think that all of this betrayal to others will come back on her? Now Liz’s only choice is to join up with Ramona and Donovan. She is already friendly with Ramona, she bonded with Iris. Now the only man she has ever loved it dead and The Countess killed him. I would love to see Liz go totally badass and join the movement against The Countess.
Once more, this week has further explored The Countess and given Gaga more screen time. We have learned more about the hotel, specifically how the dead are supposed to find purpose within the hotel to escape the purgatory of wandering the halls. John’s storyline has continued to flail into familiar Murder House territory. I can’t help but feel like I’ve seen all of his storyline before, save for the Ten Commandments Killer. It’s almost the exact storyline that Ben Harmon went through in Murder House. He’s got the distant wife who doesn’t trust him, the daughter who knows her parents are messed up and avoids them, he is having ‘visions’ that are real but he just keeps on lying to himself. He insists he isn’t crazy, but he also refuses to believe the obvious. You can’t have it both ways John!
Denis O'Hare is working for his emmy nod for Liz Taylor.
Lady Gaga is only getting better with each episode.
Lots and lots of sex and pretty naked people.
Baby Bartholomew is TERRIFYING.
John's story line feels like it is falling on past season tropes.