Derek Boyle, Eamon Friel and Raymond Friel
David Heap as Auctioneer
Alan Smyth as Hugo
Stephen Dorff as Ritchie
Sean Pertwee as Mr. Groznyi
Igor Chistol as Thug 1
Greg Jeloudov as Thug 2
The life of a criminal seems pretty good. In the opening scenes of Botched a band of well dressed thieves waltz into a fashion show in progress, help themselves to the back room, crack a safe and make off calmly with millions of dollars worth of diamonds. Easy.
As the daylight burglars drive away from the scene and through the winding European streets I was thinking “why are they driving so fast? Nobody is chasing them…” but drive away a high speed they did. I shouldn’t have wondered… if they hadn’t been speeding then they wouldn’t have come upon a woman with a baby carriage in the road and a truck coming the opposite direction causing the getaway car to hop off the curb and into a dramatic collision with a dumpster… and there wouldn’t have been a movie.
With the heist failed and diamonds lost our lawless hero Ritchie (Stephen Dorff) is forced to make amends to the crime boss that employs him. Off to Russia he goes to steal a religious artifact and sever his obligation to Crimebossman.
The newest heist goes wrong as well resulting in Ritchie, a couple of Russian thugs and a collection of crazy hostages getting stuck in a seemingly unoccupied floor of a skyscraper with a crazy killer on the loose.
Botched is not exactly horror as nothing particularly scary happens but the comedy is liberally sprinkled with bloody gore and ghastly happenings. Beheadings, stabbings, dismemberment and impalement punctuate the witty comments and slapstick humor.
This film is a good example of horror/comedy fluff that is enjoyable to watch but won’t likely become a classic, cult or otherwise. The performances are good and the storyline is interesting. I laughed through the right parts and the gore was great, but again… there really isn’t any reason to watch it more than once. Well, there is the beheading scene which is pretty sudden and cool… but you can just rewind that part a couple of times and you’ll be fine.
If horror/comedy is your thing then you will enjoy Botched – well, comedy with gore actually – but go ahead and rent this one instead of buying it as one viewing will be all that you need.