April 23, 2013 (U.S. DVD)
Beau Nelson as Sebastian
Wolfgang Weber as Vinny
Susan Graham as Kara
Natalie Irby as Melissa
Alex Ballar as Michael
Bobby Burkey as Spider
David Reynolds as Big Al
Aidan Bristow as Barry
In All American Zombie Drugs, drugs are a staple of life for a band of losers, including Sebastian (Beau Nelson), Vinny (Wolfgang Weber), Melissa (Natalie Irby) and Kara (Susan Graham). It’s not known exactly how they have survived as long as they have, with nothing but a steady stream of hallucinogens to keep them sedentary and happy but no discernable sources of income. In spite of all of that things seem to be pretty good for this motley crew. Well, they could be better because our hero Vinny has begun having delusions of zombie mayhem every time he’s high as a kite. No trouble though, really, because the visions pass and the next high is right around the corner. Suddenly, inspiration hits; why not become drug dealers themselves, and profit as well as partake? Unfortunately they were duped by their supplier and get stuck with some fake drugs and very unhappy street customers… but there is a silver lining to this fiasco when they find a recipe on the Internet to make their own recreational concoction and all seems well… until they realize that their home brew kills the user and turns them into a zombie themselves.
Although there are a few zombie appearances in All American Zombie Drugs, this is definitely not a zombie movie, or even a horror movie. Clearly the thought process was that any film with the words “All American”, “zombie” and “drugs” in the title would automatically be appealing to horror fans. The result of this thinking is a high level of promotion to horror sites, and delivery of screeners and publicity materials to ensure that the target audience knows as much as possible about the film’s existence. But… is it going to work? Nice packaging and titillating movie titles are one thing, but what about the substance of the film?
All American Zombie Drugs plays like a mindless teen comedy with a heavy drug theme; think “Saved by the Bell” on crack. The characters are goofy and ridiculous, especially the guy who does interpretive dance with a lawn mower or goes into uncontrollable humping motions every time he gets high or falls asleep. Nobody has a job, nobody is able to go about life in any kind of reasonable way. Yet, the performers themselves are pretty well groomed and in good shape with clean clothes and clear skin. There’s no telling how that happened.
All American Zombie Drugs is not a horror movie, so certainly not a good horror movie. This is also not a good movie-movie. There is something kind of appealing about seeing the kids from ‘Saved by the Bell’ doing drugs and dancing around with lawn equipment, but that’s not enough to spend an hour and a half with this particular disc playing. Just wait, though, until you get to the big twist ending… it just may be that this film didn’t actually have a point at all.
Take a look, if you must, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.